When the first bullet was fired, marking the start of military clashes between the Sudanese Armed Forces (SAF) and the Rapid Support Forces (RSF) in mid-April 2023, the shock made it difficult to believe what was happening, despite the sounds of explosions and exchanges of gunfire in the streets in the capital, Khartoum. But soon the realisation began to sink in, this is a real war. This also means that Sudan has entered a new tunnel and the end is unknown, which is what is being felt now by all Sudanese who have lived the experience of armed conflict and the bitter humanitarian reality due to the displacement of millions, not to mention refugees and missing persons.

On a personal level, it has become increasingly difficult to provide the necessities of life and continue to work as a journalist in such circumstances and situations.

A number of challenges exacerbated the situation, starting with the internet disruptions and ending with the demarcation of permissible movement routes inside the capital Khartoum due to the intensification of military clashes, which certainly affected all information related to the war and the spread of rumors.

I stayed for about 6 months in the suburb of Al-Jarif - east of Khartoum. One of the moments that has etched itself in my memory is the danger associated with being identified as a "journalist" and being seen as an informant for one of the warring parties. I had to get rid of any identification papers indicating that I am a journalist during my transfer between the cities of Khartoum North and Omdurman by September 2023.

I remember one time standing to cross the bridge of the "Halfaya" area at the city of Khartoum North. There was an RSF checkpoint. After searching the bags and asking about the identification papers came the question of "what do you do for living?" a shop assistant was my response. “I work in one of the shops selling phones in the area of Hajj Youssef market.” It was my first time denying that I was a journalist for fear of being accused of the unfair charges that prevailed at the time.

By the beginning of October, military battles intensified and suffering increased in the capital, Khartoum, from food shortages, power cuts, severe shortages in the provision of medicines and the spread of corpses in the streets. I saw how some of those who chose to stay, especially in the neighbourhoods of Omdurman, had to bury their family members inside the house. Leaving the capital, Khartoum, was unavoidable by that point. I packed my luggage and headed towards the city of Wad Madani in Gezira state in central Sudan.

In the city of Wad Madani, I sought to reshape my life again. The first step was to secure accommodation in one of the shelters in the suburb of "Al-Dabbagh" in Madani. But after only two months, military clashes broke out inside the city, and we made the decision to move to the state of Sennar by December 2023. We headed towards Sennar on a four days journey on foot.

After only few days, we continued the journey from Sennar towards the city of "Kassala". We are now officially displaced. We sought to settle inside the school of Alshaheed Abu Fatima, which became our shelter for the next five months.

In mid-June, I made the decision to return to the city of Omdurman, as the security situation stabilised and services gradually returned.

I started working again. It was also during this time that I had the opportunity to be one of the few people documenting the impact of the EU efforts to support the Sudanese populations during the conflict, especially those aimed at alleviating suffering by supporting the health and education sectors and also providing access to drinking water and child nutrition.

At the beginning of the war, the main source of information about the "war", especially about clashes and the number of casualties, was "citizens" - or what is now known as citizen journalists, their contribution was vital to keep the Sudanese public informed about the war in the country.

After two years of war in Sudan, the challenges and difficulties are increasing day after day due to the prolonged destruction and devastation of the infrastructure. Hospitals, schools, water and electricity stations, universities, and most importantly the Sudanese themselves are suffering from a psychological trauma that will need a long time to heal.

Once SAF regained control over many neighborhoods in Khartoum, I was able to inspect what is left of the media houses in the eastern Khartoum region. My heart broke. The media houses were not spared from fires and damage, not to mention the looting of all property.

What happened to the Sudanese Archives - one of the most prominent sources of information for journalists – was devastating. About thirty million Sudanese documents were destroyed. Those were part of the historical memory of the state.

Today, I am still inside Sudan striving to fulfil the contract of the profession of ethics, which is journalism, trying to track the humanitarian violations to which the Sudanese are subjected, and to learn new ways of doing journalism and overcome the obstacles in search of the more truthful story.

Editor’s note: The European Union in Sudan is supporting independent journalism through the project “Revitalizing and Enhancing Media in Sudan (REM)” implemented by Internews Europe and Canal France International. By enhanced the capacity of independent Sudanese digital, radio and broadcast media, the project aims at increasing access to quality, fact-based, and inclusive information that will enable Sudanese audiences to make informed decisions and better support peacebuilding and social cohesion activities.